What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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