What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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