What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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