What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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