What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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