What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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