What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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