What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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