What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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