What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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