What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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A seal walks into a club...



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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops

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