What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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