What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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