What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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