What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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