What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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