What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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