What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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