What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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