What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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