What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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