What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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