What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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