What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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