What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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