What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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