What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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