What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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