What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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