What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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