What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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