What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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