What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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