What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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