What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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