What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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