What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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