What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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