What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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