What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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