What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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