What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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