What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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