What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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