What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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