What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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