What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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