What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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