What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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