What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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