What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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