What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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