What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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