What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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