What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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