What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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