What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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