What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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