What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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