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What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?
Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?
They can make little things count.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,
he's bisatchel.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?
Santa paws!!!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
OH SNaP!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?
Root beer.
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What is Claustrophobia?
The fear of Santa Claus.
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