What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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