What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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