What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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