What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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