What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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