What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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