What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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