What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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