What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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