What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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