What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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