What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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