What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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