What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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