What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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