What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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