What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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