What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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