What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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