What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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