What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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