What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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