What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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