What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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