What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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