What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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