What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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