What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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