What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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