What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.

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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.


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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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