What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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