What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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