What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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