What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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