What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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