What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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