What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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