What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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