What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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