What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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