What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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