What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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