What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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