What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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