What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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