What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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