What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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