What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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