What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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