What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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