What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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