What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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