What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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