What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop

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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.

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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!

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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.

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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.

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