What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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