What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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