What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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