What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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