What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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