What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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