What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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