What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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