What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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