What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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