What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.

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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean

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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle

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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"

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