What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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