What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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