What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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