What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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