What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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