What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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