What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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