What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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