What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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