What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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