What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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