What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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