What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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