What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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