What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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