What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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