What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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