What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.

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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.

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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili

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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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