What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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