What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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