What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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