What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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