What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!

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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.

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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.

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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel

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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)

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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.

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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.

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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.

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