What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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