What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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