What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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