What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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