What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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