What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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