What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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