What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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