What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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