What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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