What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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