What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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