What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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