What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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