What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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