What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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