What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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