What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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