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What do you call a sad bird?
A bluebird!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?
Root position cords.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?
Sir.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?
A buck.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?
"The erection is rigged!"
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I'm on a whiskey diet.
I've lost three days already.
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I just watched a program about beavers.
It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?
I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?
A dead centipede.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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