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What do you call a sad bird?
A bluebird!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?
Put him in the front seat.
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When is a car not a car?
When it turns into a garage.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?
[A Condesending con descending]
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I just watched a program about beavers.
It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why was the math book sad?
It had too many problems.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".
I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Where do you go to find a million story building?
You go to the Library!
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?
Donald Trump.
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