What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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