What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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