What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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