What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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