What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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