What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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