What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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