What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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