What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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