What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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