What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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