What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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