What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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