What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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