What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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