What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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