What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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