What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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