What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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