What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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