What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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