What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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