What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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