What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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