What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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