What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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