What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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