What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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