What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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