What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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