What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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