What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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