What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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