What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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