What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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