What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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