What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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