What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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