What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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