What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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