What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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