What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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