What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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