What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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