What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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