What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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