What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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