What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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