What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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