What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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