What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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