What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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