What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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