What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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