What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.

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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.

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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.

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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog

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