What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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