What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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