What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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