What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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