What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...

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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!

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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.

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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.

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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.

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