What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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