What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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