What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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