What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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