What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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