What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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