What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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