What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet

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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.

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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.

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