What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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