What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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