What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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