What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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