What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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