What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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