What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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