What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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