What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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