What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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