What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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