What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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