What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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