What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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