What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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