What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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