What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.

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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.

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