What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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