What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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