What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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