What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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