What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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