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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?
The caterer.
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How is a dog like a telephone?
It has a collar I.D.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
2 Na
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I just watched a program about beavers.
It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can't tuna fish.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?
Spelling.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!
If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"
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