What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.

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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.

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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.


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