What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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