What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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