What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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