What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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