What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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