What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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