What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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