What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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