What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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