What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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