What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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