What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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