What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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