What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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