What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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