What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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