What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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