What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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