What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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