What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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