What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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