What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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