What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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