What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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