What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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