What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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