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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?
The caterer.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?
He decomposes.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
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What pine has the longest needles?
A porcupine.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?
Camembert.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?
Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Where do horses live?
In the neigh-borhood.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me
Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?
Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What's a frog's favorite drink?
Croak-a-cola.
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