What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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