What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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