What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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