What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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