What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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