What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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