What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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