What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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