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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?
The caterer.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?
Because he never pays his debts.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?
New Jersey got to pick first.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?
"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.
It came in at quarter past four.
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Why was the math book sad?
It had too many problems.
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What has a head but no body?
A nail.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite
He said NaBrO
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?
"Let me see your birth certificate".
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