What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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