What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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