What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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