What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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