What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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