What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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