What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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