What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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A seal walks into a club...
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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