What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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