What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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