What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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