What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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