What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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