What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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