What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.

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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.

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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.

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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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