What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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