What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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