What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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