What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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