What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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