What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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