What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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