What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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