What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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