What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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