What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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