What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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