What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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