What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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