What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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