What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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