What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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