What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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