What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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