What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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