What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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