What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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