What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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