What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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