What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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