What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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