What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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