What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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