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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?
Pointless
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check
It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?
Coffin drops!
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?
A marsbar!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?
Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?
A pair of Re-Bachs.
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How does a pig go to hospital?
In a hambulance.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?
Because it goes good with chips.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?
A kitten.
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