What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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