What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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