What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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