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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?
Pointless
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How do you make an egg laugh?
Tell it a yolk.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?
``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?
A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What is black ,white and red all over?
A sunburnt penguin
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
2 Na
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?
Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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