What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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