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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?
Pointless
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?
An udder failure.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?
It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?
Their personalities.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?
Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?
It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?
A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?
A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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