What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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