What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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