What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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