What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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