What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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