What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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