What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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