What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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