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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?
Pointless
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?
Sir.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?
Take me to your liter.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?
A ferrous wheel.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?
A river.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?
Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?
Its shadow
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?
Bone appetit!
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