What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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