What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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