What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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