What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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