What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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