What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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