What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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