What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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