What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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