What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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