What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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