What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess

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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.

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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"

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