What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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