What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs

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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.

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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear

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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!

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