What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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