What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper

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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.

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