What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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