What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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