What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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