What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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