What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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