What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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