What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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