What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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