What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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