What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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