what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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