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what do you call a tick on the moon?
A luna-tick
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?
Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?
A pineapple!
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?
Pupperoni.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?
A Moo-sician!
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Why do hummingbirds hum?
Because they don't know the words.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?
Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"
Time is fun when you're having flies
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What did the alien say to the cat?
Take me to your litter.
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