what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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