what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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