what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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