What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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