What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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