What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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