What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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