What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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