What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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