What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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