What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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