What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.

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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".

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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.

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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.

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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang

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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."

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