What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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