What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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