What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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