What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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