What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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