What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"

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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.

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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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