What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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