What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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