What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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