What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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