What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.

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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.

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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.

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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess

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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison

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