What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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