What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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