What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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