What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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