What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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