What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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