What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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