What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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