What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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