What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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