What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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