What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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