What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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