What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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