What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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