What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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