What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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