What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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