What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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