What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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