What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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