What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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