What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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