What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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