What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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