What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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