What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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