What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish

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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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