What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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