What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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