What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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