What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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