What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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