What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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