What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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