What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish

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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.

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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.

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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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