What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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