What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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