What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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