What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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