What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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