What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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