What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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