What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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