What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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