What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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