What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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