What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.

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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!

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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!

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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.

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