What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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