What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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