What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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