What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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