What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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