What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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