What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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