What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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