What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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