What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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