What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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