What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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