What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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