What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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