What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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