What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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