What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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