What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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