What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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