What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan

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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.

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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.

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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!

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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.

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