What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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