What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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