What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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