What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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