What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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