What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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