What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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