What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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