What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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