What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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