What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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