What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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