What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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