What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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