What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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