What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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