What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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