What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.

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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.

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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!

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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva


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