What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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