What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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