What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.

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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.

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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!

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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!

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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink

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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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