What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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