What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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