What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."

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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.

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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board

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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras

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