What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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