What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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