What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.

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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.

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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.

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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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