What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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