What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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