What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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