What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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