What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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