What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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