What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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