What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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