What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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