What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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