What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.

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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.

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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore

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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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