What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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