What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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