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What do you call the best butter on the farm?
A goat.
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Why did the cow cross the road?
Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?
An udder failure.
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I tried nutella on some salmon
got salmonella.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?
If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why did the TV cross the road?
Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?
A blackboard.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?
They had reservations.
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