What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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