What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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