What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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