What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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