What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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