What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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