What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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