What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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