What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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