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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.
The guardians of the galaxy!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?
No way Hose A.
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What did one eye say to the other?
Between you and me, something smells.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But the guitarist has to show him first.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?
Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?
Put him in the front seat.
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How do you cut a wave in half?
Use a sea saw.
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Why did the sun go to school?
To get brighter!
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?
One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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I tried nutella on some salmon
got salmonella.
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