What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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