What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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