What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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