What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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