What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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