What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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