What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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