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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.
The guardians of the galaxy!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??
What's a light bulb?
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?
Merry Christmas!
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?
A ferrous wheel.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!
You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.
Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?
King.
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What did the flag say to the pole?
Nothing, it just waved.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?
Sleep somewhere else.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?
With a cowculator.
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