What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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