What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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