What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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