What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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