What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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