What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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