What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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