What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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