What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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