What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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