What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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