What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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