What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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