What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!

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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.

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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.

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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.

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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish

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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!

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