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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?
Ant-elopes!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?
The bucket.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?
She wanted to reach the high notes!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?
A shampoodle
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?
Discrimination.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide!
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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Where are sharks from?
Finland.
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