What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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