What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!

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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.

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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.

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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.

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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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