What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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