What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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