What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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