What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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