What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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