What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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