What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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