What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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