What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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