What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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