What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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