What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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