What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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