What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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