What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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