What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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