What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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