What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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