What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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