What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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