What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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