What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.

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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.

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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.

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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights

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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine

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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.

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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.

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