What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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