What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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