What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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