What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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