What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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