What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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