What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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