What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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