What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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