What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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