What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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