What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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