What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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