What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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