What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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