What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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