What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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