What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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