What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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