What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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