What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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A seal walks into a club...
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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