What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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