What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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