What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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