What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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