What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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