What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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