What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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