What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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