What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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