What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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