What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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