What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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