What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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