What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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