What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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