What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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