What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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