What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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