What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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