What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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