What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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