What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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