What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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