What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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