What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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