What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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