What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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