What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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