What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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