What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth

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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood

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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."

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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.

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