What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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