What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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