What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth

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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!

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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras

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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.

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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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