What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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