What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth

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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!

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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!

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