What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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