What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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