What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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