What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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