What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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