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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth
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Why did the doughnut shop close?
The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?
Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?
The letter H.
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How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the g
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?
It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What bone will a dog never eat?
A trombone.
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How does a penguin build it's house?
Igloos it together.
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