What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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