What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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