What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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