What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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