What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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