What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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