What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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