What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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