What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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