What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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