What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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