What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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