What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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