What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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