What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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