What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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