What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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