What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.

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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.

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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!


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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.

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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.

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