What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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