What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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