What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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