What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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