What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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