What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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