What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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