What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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