What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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