What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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