What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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