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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?
Hope it's Halloween!!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?
What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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I'm on a whiskey diet.
I've lost three days already.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?
Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?
Camembert.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
To get to the other side.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing
but you accidentally say Mother.
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How does a penguin build it's house?
Igloos it together.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?
"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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