What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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