What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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