What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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