What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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