What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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