What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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