What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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