What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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