What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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