What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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