What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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