What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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