What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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