What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.

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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!

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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)

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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.

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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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