What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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