What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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