What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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