What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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