What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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