What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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