What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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