What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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