What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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