What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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