What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.

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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.

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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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