What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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