What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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