What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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