What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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