What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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