What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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