What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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