What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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