What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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