What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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