What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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