What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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