What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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