What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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