What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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