What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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