What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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