What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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