What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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