What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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