What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin

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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop

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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.

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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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