What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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