What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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