What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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