What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.

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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.

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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.

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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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