What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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