What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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