What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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