What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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