What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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