What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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