What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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