What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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