What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.

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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.

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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."

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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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