What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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