What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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