What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.

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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.

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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess

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