What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends

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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.

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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.

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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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