What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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