What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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