What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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