What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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