What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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