What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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