What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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