What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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