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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?
Ice cream.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?
Use a pen.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?
Because he wasn't peeling well!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?
To the mooooooovies.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?
To visit the milky way.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?
A bed.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?
No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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