What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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