What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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