What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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