What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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