What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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