What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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