What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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