What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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