What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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