What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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