What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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