What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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