What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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