What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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