What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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