What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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