What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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