What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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