What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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