Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
or
Two-lips!
or
One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
or
Stop! You're under a vest.
or
1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
or
A pork chop.
or