What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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