What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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