What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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