What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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