What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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