What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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