What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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