What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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