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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?
A pair of Re-Bachs.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?
In the snow bank.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?
She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?
Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?
With its sparrowchute.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.
I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?
A buff-a-loan
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Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?
Because he never pays his debts.
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