What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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