What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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