What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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