What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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