What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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