What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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