What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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