What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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