What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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