What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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