What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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