What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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