What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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