What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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