What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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