What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.

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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!

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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.

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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.

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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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