What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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