What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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