What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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