What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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