What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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