What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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