What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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