What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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