What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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