What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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