What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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