What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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