What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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