What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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