What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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A seal walks into a club...
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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