What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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