What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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