What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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