What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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