What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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