What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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