What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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