What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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