What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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