What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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