What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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