What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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