What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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