What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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