What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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