What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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