What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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