What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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