What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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