What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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