What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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