What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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