What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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