What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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