What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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