What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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