What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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