What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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