What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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