What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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