What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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