What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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