What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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