What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!

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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.

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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?

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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!

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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops

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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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