What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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