What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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