What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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