What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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