What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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