What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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