What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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