What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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