What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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