What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.

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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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