What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.

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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."

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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos

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