What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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