What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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