What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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