What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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