What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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