What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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