What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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