What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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