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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?
I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?
Squash
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?
Half a worm.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?
You're Hired.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?
Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?
What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?
A cocker poodle boo.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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