What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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