What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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