What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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