What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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