What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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