What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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