What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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