What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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