What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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