What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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