What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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