What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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