What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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