What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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