What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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