What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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