What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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