What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison

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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore

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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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