What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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