What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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