What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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