What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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A seal walks into a club...
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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