What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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