What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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