What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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