What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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