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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?
A pineapple!
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?
To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.
Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.
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Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
Their lips are moving.
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What's black and white and red all over?
A sunburnt zebra.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.
The guardians of the galaxy!
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?
None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?
Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?
"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."
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