What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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