What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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