What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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