What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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