What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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