What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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