What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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