What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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