What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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