What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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