What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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