What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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