What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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