What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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