What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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