What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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