What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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