What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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