What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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