What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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