What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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