What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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