What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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