What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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