What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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