What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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