What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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