What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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