What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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