What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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