What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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