What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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