What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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