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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?
Count Quackula!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?
Sir.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?
Feyonce
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What did one titration say to the other?
"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?
Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?
Because they had so many knights.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It's fine, he woke up.
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