What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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