What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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