What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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