What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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