What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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