What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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