What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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