What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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