What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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