What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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