What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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