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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?
To see how long he slept.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They have machines to do that now.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..
feel really weird about donuts right now.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?
Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?
A ruler.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It's fine, he woke up.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?
A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?
A swordfish
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