What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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