What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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