What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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