What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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