What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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