What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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