What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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