What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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