What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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