What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards

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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.

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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.

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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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