What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.

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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.

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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.

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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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