What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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