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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?
Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?
He was in shock for a week.
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What type of cars do elves drive?
Toy-otas.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?
Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How do you cut a wave in half?
Use a sea saw.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.
That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?
An in-car-nation.
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