What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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