What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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