What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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