What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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