What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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