What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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