What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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