What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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