What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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