What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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