What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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