What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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