What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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