What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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