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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?
Wet feet.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?
"Feel the World."
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?
It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?
Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But the guitarist has to show him first.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?
To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?
It left its tracks.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?
Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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