What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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