What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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