What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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