What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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