What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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