What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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