What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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