What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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