What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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