What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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