What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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