What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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