What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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