What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.

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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"

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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood

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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.

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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.

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