What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.

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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed

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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.

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