What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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