What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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