What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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