What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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