What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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