What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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