What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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