What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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