What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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