What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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