What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.

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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.

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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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