What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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