What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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