What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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