What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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