What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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