What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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