What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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