What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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