What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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