What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.

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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos

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