What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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