What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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