What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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