What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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