What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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