What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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