What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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