What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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