What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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