What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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