What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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