What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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