What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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