What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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