What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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