What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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