What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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