What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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