What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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