What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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