What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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