What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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