What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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