What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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