What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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