What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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