What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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