What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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