What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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