What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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