What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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