What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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