What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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