What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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