What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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