What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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