What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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